3.24 — Aloha. Malama Pono / Farewell. With Love

Car chase of the silver lights Camaro! Hey man, that Kono who took a bullet to the gut is already safe and sound – how can someone write me into Show? I imagine Show would allow me to avoid menstrual cramps? What…you have a majic vagina that doesn’t do anything this special on a monthly basis?

Also, I imagine that once in a while, because 5-0 are only allowed to drive at 27 km an hour, someone on sets wants to yell IT’S A POT HOLE NOT A F/CKING LANDMINE; GO, ALREADY!

Caucasian 5-0s get pulled over because of Steven’s bad hair; it goes back to that thing that happened last week with Kono’s bullet being found in some dude’s body in the not-Bosnian grave site. RIP.

Duke (HI DUKE!!) explains everything and basically, because Kono is having the s/xing with Adam and his awesome pad with an awesome view, she is suspect. Moral of the story is: Careful who you sleep with because their having a good view just isn’t a good enough reason. (But totes worth it if all they have is amazing hair, which is what Daniel’s pompadour just without a word and only a side-eye my way.)

Hilariously, Duke asks The Caucasians to pop their trunk because that’s where they keep Asian women in Hawaii. I’m surprised he didn’t get on his knees to look beneath the car, where wee Kono, in the size of a cartoon Hello Kitty might be hanging.

When Duke says “I hope you know what you’re doing Steve,” Daniel’s hair retorts with “Err…have ya seen his hair, Duke? Because No.”

En route to the airplane, I can’t hello but notice that Alex O is wearing the sh/t out of that v-neck button down situation. McG-Spot is thinking really hard about the dead bodies in the airplane and something about rendition.

Oh yeah, KATH calls McG while she’s strolling around in her uniform still not working. She gives him a whole bunch of information and then mentions something about an egg center.

She hangs up quickity split because she runs into a dude who has better hair than McG. Dude’s still hung up on her because they did something in Amsterdam 5 years ago. It was “real” which, wtf does that ever actually mean? If some a/shole said that to me, I’d punch him in his ear and then demand a cookie as recompense.

I guess here I would like to say that I am happy KATH isn’t wearing jean cut-off shorts. Thanks, costume people.

PS I intuit that this man in his crisp whites is bad news.

CIA or FBI or whomever; they don’t have Facebook or Twitter because it was through The 5-0s that they discovered their Super Duper Important Transport (SDIT) is now missing, with 5 of their people dead. I feel safe; do you feel safe?

From SDIT’s photo, I can confirm for you the most important thing which you need to know: he is a heavy and loud nostril breather. Look:

Heavy Breather

Show just did something funny – FBI / CIA was all “I’m sending an action team to Hawaii as we speak…” when…didn’t he just find out while The 5-0s were on the line with him? When did he have time to “as we speak” unless he can use his toes to type and has a secret computer at his undressed feet and he sent a special message “as he spoke”?

Somehow, I don’t think “…as we speak” should ever be, like, something you just randomly say unless you actually mean it, no? Especially if you’re FBI/CIA.

What do I know? I’m just a sardonic b/tch.

Page 2 is right here.